Book Review - The Verbally Abusive Relationship: Patricia Evans

The above book title is one of the best books I have ever read about this topic. As books on abuse go, I have read many and this book is excellent. If you are someone who wonders whether something is wrong in your relationship, or you suspect that your partner's behavior is borderline abuse or straight out verbal abuse, then you must read this book.

Verbal and emotional abuse in relationships quite often goes along unnoticed. When you compare this type of abuse to the physical kind, it's easy to see how you may question whether you or someone close to you is in a relationship that is abusive both verbally and emotionally. We can visibly see injuries and bruises that occur when a partner is battered physically, but the scars and wounds that emotional and verbal abuse leave are deeper and far more damaging. 

This book speaks to the female; in terms of being a victim as it is mostly women that are abused and have no idea what they have done to deserve it. Patricia explains the reasons why women get treated this way and in the second part of the book she reassures women with her strategies for counteracting your man's abusive statements. These strategies can work for anyone, dealing with all types of verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is however, more common between men and women in relationships.

In terms of abuse book on the market, this is really one of the best and next time I update this blog I will be recommending another book that a friend of mine wrote recently and is selling on Amazon and it is really good, however it covers emotional abuse, which is different to verbal abuse. Sometimes verbal abuse can turn into emotional abuse, however we are talking about men who want to counter everything his woman says, and seems keen to start an argument or to blame his partner for something.

So have a look out for this book if you are dealing with verbal abuse from someone as it will really help you in all situations whenever you are accused of something, or called nasty names, which is what abusers do.

Stay tuned for my review of another great book about abuse, coming soon. If you wish to get a copy of Patricia Evans, The Verbally Abusive Relationship. You can purchase it right here at the Amazon link below.

 

For more information about Janelle, visit: Janelle Coulton, Freelance Writer

Copyright © 2013 Janelle Coulton

'Sycamore Row' - John Grisham's Sequel to 'A Time To Kill' Review

John Grisham's new novel is called Sycamore Row. Twenty five years ago, Grisham released his first novel A Time To Kill. This wonderful book was adapted into a film not long after and the book was a best seller. A Time To Kill was about racial discrimination in a small town in Ford County. The hero from his first book, Jake Brigance returns in Sycamore Row to become enmeshed in another courtroom battle which dates back to the past and the history of the town. 

This brand new book is full of intrigue, suspense and courtroom dramas, which is what Grisham excels at. It is a story of the search for justice in a small Southern town.

When it was announced that Grisham was writing a new book and that is would be a sequel to A Time To Kill, fans were really excited. The book has since become available for purchase recently and fans most likely cannot wait to get their copy. If the last book of Grisham's that I read has any bearing on whether this book is worth reading, well let me just say that every John Grisham book that I have read, I have gone back to read it for a second time. This is my measure of an excellent book. If you read it and then think you would like to read it again, then it's good and Grisham has never let me down. 

Clanton has been the setting for a few of Grisham's books, The Summons and The Last Juror were two, if I remember correctly. John Grisham is a lawyer, who left the profession after the success of The Firm, his second novel to pursue a writing career and fans everywhere are so glad he made this choice. 

Grisham wrote A Time To Kill in three years and after many years of rejections it was finally accepted and published. Grisham's inspiration was hearing testimony from a 12 year old rape victim and he got to thinking what would have happened if the father of this child has murdered the rapist. So he wrote his first book based on what he heard that day.

Grisham's second novel, The Firm is what made him a best selling writer and is also my personal favourite and the first Grisham novel that I ever read. I have read The Firm about six times. His writing hobby that he did outside of work hours being a lawyer was turned into a full time career and it would seem a labour of love. The Firm was the best selling novel in 1991 and this book was adapted in a movie as well, starring Tom Cruise. 

I highly recommend fans of Sycamore Row get their copy as it is one book that John Grisham fans cannot afford to miss.

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Available now at Amazon

Copyright © 2013 Janelle Coulton

Toni Morrison’s A Mercy – A Book Review

Toni Morrison’s “A Mercy” could be classed as a novella as it is around forty thousand words. This is a book by Ms Morrison; that has been hailed as one of her very best works, according to reviewers and critics. “A Mercy” is an exceptionally, crafted work of fiction that depict an epic story in only one hundred and sixty-seven pages.

Set in the seventeenth century; a Dutch orphan and very determined man named Jacob Vaark is in the process of putting together a complex home in the New World. His wife Rebekka is a mail-order bride from England, who was the daughter of very cruel parents who exiled her. Jacob and Rebekka have no children, so they rely on the help of three other women. A Native American called Lina, Sorrow a survivor from a ship wreck and Florens who is a young black girl who Vaark takes on as part of an agreement concerning a bad debt. Lina, Sorrow and Florens join Vaark’s household as companions for the couple.

Rebekka finds herself becoming a close companion to Lina, the Native American and she finds it easier to relate to Lina, than her other church going female acquaintances that live nearby. Ms Morrison offers a view into how life may have worked back in this era and how these people coexisted and lived in peace with each other. Vaark sees himself as a man who rescues people and abhors the people who traffic in slaves. Ms Morrison describes her character as ordinary people who were like the migrants of today, who came here without help, struggling to survive in the wilderness. The story is told from the perspective of the women who have come here from their own tragic lives.

For each member of Vaark’s household the circumstances that they live in now represent an improvement over what their lives were before joining Vaark and Rebekka. Vaark is an ambitious man who has visions of creating an impressive family manor, which will stand as a monument to the heirs that did not survive.

Florens, the young black girl who is desperate for love becomes infatuated with the new blacksmith who has come to work for Vaark. Her obvious fascination and attraction to this man will end in tragic circumstances. The blacksmith’s arrival sets off a chain of events that will accelerate the destruction of Vaark’s family manor. Vaark passes away as a result of small pox before he is even able to move into his new home. The blacksmith has skills as a healer, however his remedies tend to affect the person’s psychological state as well as their physical well-being

The narrative of this book centers around the characters and whilst Ms Morrison is excellent in giving the reader many details about her characters and their stories, she is even more skilled at holding certain pieces of information at bay in order to keep the reader turning the pages. She does this many times throughout the story and especially in the last few pages of the story she is able to tie up all the loose ends effectively. Ms Morrison ends this book with a satisfying resolution that connects the opening story with the end.

A Mercy is an absolutely stunning book from an amazing author that tells the reader a very interesting story about how people lived together back in time that is unimaginable for some generations. It is a great American story, one that is thoughtful and provoking.

For more information about Toni Morrison, you can visit her website.

Buy A Mercy Today at Amazon

Copyright© 2013 Janelle Coulton

Iyanla Vanzant - In The Meantime - Book Review

In The Meantime – Finding Yourself and the Love you Want – Iyanla Vanzant


This fabulous book that I have reviewed here in the paragraphs below is most definitely one that you must read.

Have you recently ended a relationship or marriage? Are you sad and lonely? Are you full of anger at yourself and others? Are you frustrated and horny? Are you sick of being alone and single? Are you in a relationship that is not what you hoped it would be? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you are most likely at the beginning of a meantime experience. Finding the love you want is easier than you think if you are prepared to look deep inside your self.

In the Meantime is an extremely personal, internal journey of emotional house cleaning. It is about getting rid of the trash inside your mind and heart. “I can’t live without you baby.” is rubbish, “Something must be wrong with me.” is absolute trash. “Something must be wrong with you.” is the outgrowth of clutter in the mind. We make excuses. We keep hiding. We refuse to check in, to identify or discover the truth about what we feel and what we are doing in response. The next thing we know is the rug gets ripped away and our heart is bleeding and love, or what we thought was love, has blown up in our face-again. We want to move on, but we’re angry, we want to be brave but we’re hurt. Somewhere in back of our mind the voice of love is whispering, “Get a mop and broom so we can clean up this mess." Let’s begin by telling ourselves and everyone involved here the truth. Everyone finds out what love is NOT, on their way to finding out what love IS. (Iyanla Vanzant, In The Meantime, 1998)

Where do you live in the house of love? Are you a basement dweller; blaming everyone else for your failed relationships? Vanzant uses cleaning house, and the different levels as a metaphor and guides the reader towards finding the love they want. Ms Vanzant explains this journey in plain, easy to understand language. You will travel from the basement to the first floor onto the second floor and then the third floor, this process is complete when you reach the attic. The attic is where we all want to live. The attic is where true, unconditional love for our self and others reigns supreme. In the first part of the book, you will learn which floor you are currently living on. If you are living in the basement, you will not know which floor you live on. A willingness to learn and grow is all you need to advance from the basement to the first floor.

The problem with human beings and relationships is that we keep trying to get an A+ in the relationship stakes. All we need to do is pass, it’s as simple as that. Perfection will not necessarily make one happy and perfection does not exist, especially when it comes to humans and relationships (Vanzant, 1998). You will learn from reading this book to forgive yourself and others. Forgive yourself for ever thinking you did anything wrong. You will learn to discard all of these negative emotions, and apply love to every situation. If you and your partner start to argue and you are both beginning to feel angry and hurt, this book will teach you to stop, ask your partner for a timeout and go somewhere quiet. When you are calm, ask yourself: What would love do here? I know this seems as though it is easier said than done, however it is possible to apply love to any given situation in your relationship and this book will teach you how to do it. Ms Vanzant explains what needs to be done on each floor to achieve the ultimate love that we all want; unconditional love.

You do not need to be a deeply religious or spiritual person to benefit from reading this book. Ms Vanzant talks about God and praying and asking for His help, however this is not a book that preaches religion. We all have our own beliefs and Ms Vanzant’s book recognizes and respects this. I have read this book many times for the simple reason that Ms Vanzant’s words were of great comfort to me and motivated me to be a better person. This book changed my entire outlook on life and love, and I can honestly say that many who read it will feel the same way. Whenever I have had a row with my partner or I am feeling down, I pick up this book; it never fails to make me feel better and gain a more positive outlook on life and love and most of all Ms Vanzant’s writing reminds me to love myself and others unconditionally. This extremely influential read is worth immersing yourself in simply for the excellent writing. There is not one part of this book that will bore you.

If you are into spiritual healing and self-help literature, then I highly recommend this book.




In the Meantime - Finding the Love you Want by Iyanla Vanzant can be found at all good bookstores and online at Amazon.



Copyright ©2010 Janelle Coulton



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